Healing the Karmic Wound

I feel as if I am stalled.  Am I making any progress in my life? I’m going to school, but there’s still that other piece, my soul piece.

All of the things that we achieve in life that are more outwardly directed like going to school and earning a degree, or getting a job in the world that we think is a good job, or doing some kind of community work—all of these things stimulate our awareness of who we are in the world as well as our awareness of who we are in relationship to each other. We use these things to compare ourselves and our achievements, or our lack of achievements, to others. These things are fine, but they are absolutely meaningless if we are not taking care of our relationship with our inner world and with our source. All the accolades, all the degrees, all the money—it does  nothing for us. It does not bring us happiness, it does not bring us peace, and it does not bring us healing. 

You’re saying that you’re advancing in some good outer ways, but inwardly you feel stalled. How do we know inwardly when we have succeeded in bringing ourselves to experience the answer to our prayers to go forward? You will know you have succeeded because there is a great expansion and release that comes in your heart when you have understood something that you were not able to understand before, and when you experience the light in a way that you had not experienced it before. Our heart tells us so. That’s how we know.

So how do I start to change my karmic blueprint?

You have to pray first.  You have to petition.  You make the prayer. You know how we pray here at the Sanctuary: “Ancestors, help me out, I’m stuck. I’m spinning my wheels in a little gerbil cage and I need to get off this track. I need your help.” 

But the other thing is, you have to be ready. When you have had enough of the karma of the wound and it has made you so very unhappy, the light will come on. There will be one time when you go over your threshold and say, “Enough! I cannot bear this any longer.” And that’s when we really pray.  That’s when we really say, “Please, I need some help. Ancestors, listen to my prayer. Help me, help me here because what I do now doesn’t work.” 

Is it an all-or-nothing thing, or can you be working towards it in small steps?

We can always be going forward in the life of the spirit.

I think it’s going to be difficult, a really hard process.

That’s part of your wound. You heal it the same way that you would heal anything that said, I’m not good enough . . . I’m a bad person . . . Nobody really loves me—whatever the wound is. This is how human beings create suffering. One day that suffering will be too much for you, and then finally there will be an opening for you to let a new way come to you to respond.

The wound is tricky because we use it to our advantage. We use it to manipulate other people. When you say, “I can’t do that, it’s too hard,” someone comes along and says, “Oh here, let me help you.”  If you say, “Nobody loves me,” then your friends and family rush in to reassure you that you are loved. How many times do you need to be asking for that? There it is, that big, hungry mouth! Enough already! You’re born, you’re alive, you’re loved! You don’t have to keep asking for reassurance, you don’t have to keep proving that you’re powerful by fighting with somebody and coming out on top, and you don’t have to keep saying what you just said: “It’s too hard.” The wound is tricky stuff because you believe in it.

There’s still a lot of work for me to do on a soul level.

If you say so. I agree that we are always evolving and that we never stop stepping up to what the universe is teaching us. As far as I’m concerned, that’s forever in this dimension. But if you think it’s a lot of work, then it’s going to be a lot of work. If you think it’s your blessing to be in the Mystery and have it constantly be revealed to you and have it be a joy, then you can turn what is hard work into joy. Another way of expressing this understanding is by acknowledging that the process of liberation and purification is always happening.  But is it a joyful process to you, is it a burdensome process to you, is it one that you will judge, or is it one that you will be happy to engage in? Because the truth is that everything is a lot of work. You get up in the morning, and you have to go to work somehow. But if we are willing, then the “work,” whatever it is, is the process of life that we are engaging in fully. If it’s not that, then it becomes a task or a burden.

I feel like I keep hitting a wall.

That feeling of hitting a wall is the result of the blueprint that you’re still working with. The blueprint is what generates the separation, it’s what generates the “sin,” and it is the part or the whole of the wound. Did you ever see the movie French Kiss?  Meg Ryan wants to see the Eiffel Tower, but every time she moves, it disappears. She knows that it’s there, and then she looks and it’s gone. You see your wound, but sometimes it slips out of sight and goes behind another building and you can’t quite see it clearly. Then it comes back into view, and then you turn another corner and it slips out again. Your willingness to love generates the person that you are which means that you will continue to roll up your sleeves and go back until you get sight of it again and work with it in the way you need to work with it.  

With all this talk about wounded stuff, let us not forget that we are part of humanity. Every single one of us is part of the human race. So while we’re doing our “work,” let’s have joy and fun and do all of those things that we love so much as human beings. While we’re doing it!  Because we have to do it one way or another, so you might as well do it and enjoy the ride because we love to be in the current of love. We love to find the love stream, and we love to laugh together and play together and do all of those things together as human beings. So let’s always do that as we go forth and learn how to be better people.

Maresha's next blog will be published Tuesday, August 11, 2015.

Messages of Light is published by the Sanctuary of Universal Light on Snow Dragon Mountain in Meredith, New Hampshire. A snail mail edition is available bi-monthly, free of charge. www.snowdragonsanctuary.com

The Release of Karma

In your own way and at your own pace, you are all walking on the path of love. That means that you have inside of you a call to grow and to expand and to be a beautiful person, to be a good person.  How do you succeed at that and how do you fail at that? We always look at our failures in order to learn from them. We’re happy to do that and to observe ourselves with great love and compassion.  So what happens when you have been going forward in a good way, and then you start to slip?  Maybe you catch yourself through your practice or your remembrance. Or maybe you don’t, and you fall.  What happens in that process?

It happened to me a lot this week. My neighbor was angry with me, and I got angry with him. Then I got into an argument with somebody at work. 

So what generated that? What caused you to fight and perpetrate harm through your fight?

I felt justified somehow; I felt my position was right and he was a jerk.

The moment we think we’re really right about something, we’re on the wrong track. You have the perfect karmic set-up here to keep trying to learn the lesson that your soul is trying to learn. So the universe is working in harmony for you. Everybody feels justified in their anger; they feel right about what they are saying and feeling.  But when we’re conscious, we go way beyond that; we know that we’re not justified because we are no longer in the right-and-wrong, power-struggle place. So what generates failure, or what we might call a “sin”?  

The wound? The wound that is the karmic blueprint that we came in with.

Everybody is born with a karmic blueprint. When you leave this plane, you will not be the same as when you came in, because in this continuum called life, we learn. Every soul learns something in some way. So your blueprint at the end is different from your blueprint at the beginning, and you will start your next cycle wherever you leave off. The period between birth and death is really important because it is your learning time, the time when you get to transform that blueprint which is your karma.

The release of karma is learning how not to respond in the same way to the same situation. What happens is that the wound, the primary wound, created your karma in the past. It brought you here with that blueprint and then every experience that you have with whomever you’re having it with—the landlord or the person at work—is generated by your primary wound. That repetition of staying in and returning to that place is what generates “sin.”  

When we were young, we learned the rules about how to treat others: Do this and don’t do that.  We believed we understood those rules, but then we found out that we do perpetrate harm, and we do offend others. So we have to go beyond that recognition and find out what generates our behavior in order for us to find our liberation and our freedom from the repetitive actions that cause us pain. You must hold your intention in your consciousness for your release by recognizing what you do that keeps you restricted over and over and over again. In order to be free, you have to be willing to look at how you fail yourself. That is what reflection and healing are all about, and that is why we give great thanks for the reflections that are teaching us.

Is the wound different for everyone?

There are variations on a theme. We human beings are all similar in our vibrational and human constitutions. The wound is an open hole that cannot contain the light; it’s like a leak in the plumbing that cannot contain water.  The water comes in and goes right down the drain. Most people have these holes, and they lose their light and their love when they feed these holes.

Begin to identify for yourself the ways in which you lose your love. When you feel isolated, when you feel separated, when you feel burned out, when you feel angry, when you feel jealous, and when you feel needy, you are feeding the hole. You especially breathe life into the hole when you feel justified in it.

When at last you stop feeding the wound by believing in it with your consciousness, it starts to get cauterized with light, and the strands of light weave the fabric of your consciousness back into wholeness so that you are no longer losing your light and your love, and you are beginning to be able to contain the light consistently and to lift yourself up and then to be able to serve. 

Remember that the one great blessing that we are born with in this dimension is to serve the universe and everything in it. If there’s a drain going on, you cannot serve. Most of the time you can only take care of yourself because you are losing your energy. What do you have left to give if you are losing your light and your love down this hole? You must identify through self-reflection those ways in which you leave yourself and lose your love so that you can contain that light.

Unlike in some traditions and in some religions, we do not say that to sin is bad and to not sin is good. I believe in sin when we human beings get lost and in our unconsciousness we perpetrate harm. What I am saying to you is to recognize in our humanity that we are learning and that we learn through our flaws and failures. We’re willing to have the courage to see our failures and to step up and to rise up and to carry on. 
  

What a charge we have, what an opportunity we have to serve ourselves and to serve everyone in this place! It is a very, very powerful time on the planet. Every one of you chose to be here at this time and to do the things that you are doing in order to be a better person every single day. It is so important for you to know how to grow your love in a good way and then how to contain the light. Then you become like the quality and the characteristics of the source of life which is infinite and always light because you can contain it, you can hold it.

When you see that you’re not holding the light, don’t skip a beat. Go into a practice that you know or you have been given, use a spiritual tool to lift yourself up into the frequency that is the one you choose to resonate with. You might, for example, go into the forest and connect for a few minutes with nature and with the sacred act of prayer. It helps you to remember instantly, and you can go into healing.

As you learn to love yourselves more deeply and hold more light than ever, you will be able to understand other people. As within, so without. How can you have understanding for other people if you don’t have understanding for yourself first?  You cannot. If you have a hole of anger in you, you’re going to find all the people who have the same hole, and they’re going to reflect it back to you.  So give thanks for those people who are helping to show you what you need to see. That’s how it works. 

(May 2007)

Maresha's next blog will be published Tuesday, July 28, 2015.

Messages of Light is published by the Sanctuary of Universal Light on Snow Dragon Mountain in Meredith, New Hampshire. A snail mail edition is available bi-monthly, free of charge. www.snowdragonsanctuary.com

Maresha's Greeting to the Reader

July-August  2015

Dear Reader,

   As seekers, we look at the world from within, with conscious awareness, which gives us an alternative understanding of the nature of this life. We are encouraged, through this contemplative lifestyle, to know our nature more deeply so we may realize inner freedom.

   This freedom is the nature of the soul, as it is sensitive to and guided by the vibrations of The One. Paradoxically, as we develop   inner consciousness, we are then ready to turn outward to what is happening in the world to discover how each one of us can contribute to the greater good of the whole.

                                                                                                                                                                   Blessings and light,

Maresha

Maresha's next blog will be published Tuesday, July 14, 2015.

Messages of Light is published by the Sanctuary of Universal Light on Snow Dragon Mountain in Meredith, New Hampshire. A snail mail edition is available bi-monthly, free of charge. www.snowdragonsanctuary.com