The Propulsion of Surrender

 

 In the morning I become very quiet and I listen with my feeling center so that I can know what to do and how to do it. It doesn’t matter what has accumulated in front of me in the way of a laundry list, the obvious things that seem to need to be taken care of. I have that list, but I don’t pay any attention to it other than using it as a kind of light frame of reference because every day something happens that I did not know was going to happen, and I need to shift.

 

And so when something comes up that is difficult to shift, I shift it because I don’t conform to social structure, I don’t conform to regular time, and I don’t conform to any of the social mores that we live by. I made peace a long time ago with living in a state of surrender so that I’m very comfortable with shifting things when She tells me to do so. If I need to change an appointment or call someone and say, “I’m sorry, this isn’t going to work for me right now, let’s see if we can change this,” I’m very comfortable. I’m very comfortable if I say, “Yes I will,” and then Spirit says a little bit later, “No, you won’t.” I’m very honest and I say, “I thought I could, but I can’t and I’m so sorry.” And I am sincere in what it is that I say.

 

In a surrendered state, you cannot care what people think about you, you cannot think too highly of yourself, and you cannot get too attached to what you want. It is all very different, and it is all very beautiful. The ebb and flow of what comes to you through spirit has this kind of nature that I’m talking about. There is a natural energy there, a natural propulsion that carries you. A tremendous amount of synchronicity and accomplishment and joy comes in opening up to this ebb and flow and allowing yourself to surrender to what the Goddess wants for you and to what your part is in the Divine plan. The Divine plan doesn’t necessarily mean you have to move to Calcutta and become a nun; it might, but it also just means how we live our ordinary lives, each and every moment, each and every day.

 

And then there are the extraordinary things. When I was a very, very young woman, I built a house in a deeply wooded area of New Hampshire. I remember standing at the top of the driveway and looking across into the woods, and I absolutely knew there was going to be a healing center there. I knew it with every fiber of my being. I could feel it. I knew it was going to happen, but I had no idea how it could happen. I had just been trying to build a house with no mortgage with my own hands, so to even think of building a healing center was something I could hardly do. Or, when I was spirited very strongly to Cape Breton, I knew when I was on the island that I had to have a Sanctuary there, that I was going to make a Sanctuary on Cape Breton Island. Both of these things came to pass, and much, much more.

 

How do we know these things? I couldn’t have come up with these things myself. When I look back at the task that was before me then, there’s no way I could have said to myself, “Yeah, let’s do that.” What I’m saying is that without the propulsion of Spirit within me, around me, behind me and all about me, I could not have done it on my own.

 

So the art of surrendering, the consciousness of surrender, is extraordinarily beautiful, and that is when Spirit can use you. When Spirit can’t use you, you get stuck in Purgatory. Now that’s a very Christian, Catholic kind of view, but there is a purgatory, and it’s in between. It’s neither here nor there, it’s neither up nor down, it’s neither heaven nor hell; it’s like being stuck. When you do not live a surrendered life, you live a life in Purgatory. You’re stuck. You’re not doing anything. You’re just kind of going on day by day like a somnambulistic zombie. So it’s not hell, it’s not heaven, it’s just somewhere in between that is void of light.

 

Why? Because there’s no risk. If you’re going to live a surrendered life, you live with risk, you live with doing things that you would not normally do, saying things that you would not normally say. But when you condition yourself to that flow and that ebb, there is no risk. All that ego resistance that says, “This is too risky,” is gone. It disappears. All those places are traps to keep you comfortable and immobile, and most of all to keep you from doing any good in the world. 

 So I listen in the morning when I wake up. I go to my feeling center instantly, very, very quickly. I say my prayer of thanks, and I begin to move in the flow. By the middle of the day it’s been busy, and I’m always breathing in and breathing out, and I am listening. In the evening, especially around bedtime, I’m always listening with my intuitive ears and my feeling center. That is how I stay in contact with Her, and that is how I can move in that beautiful stream of light, in the ebbs and flows of that light.

 

Living Life as a Meditation

 Reflect on how you go through your day. What do you do? All the ways in which the mind goes off on all the things that the mind goes off on, take you away from your meditative awareness; “She suffers your foot to be moved,” and you lose focus. You become watered down when your unruly mind pulls you around. You cannot live in a surrendered state unless you learn to focus your mind, your higher mind, on the task at hand, which is the one that is given you by God. What does focus mean? Focus means that our minds are under control so that we can follow the prana or the surrendered propulsion of Spirit. When Spirit gives me something to do, I am focused on getting it done.

 

When you’re off thinking about politics or about the cruise two months down the road, or you’re wondering why this isn’t happening or that isn’t happening, you are no longer meditating. You see, life is a meditation. How we live life can be a meditation, a meditation in motion. Meditation is learning to still and focus the mind. We don’t just do it when we’re sitting; I am meditating all the time. So whatever the task at hand is, that is the one we focus on. Well, what about this one over here? Well, when this is done, we’ll get to that. Otherwise, the energy gets dissipated and watered down. It gets disassembled, and then we get overwhelmed. Well, so we’ve got this that we’re being asked to attend to, and then we can say, What about this? If we start going there, well, I don’t feel like doing any of it. And we’re sunk before we’re even succeeded in focusing on one, one, place that we have been given to focus upon.

 

And as for keeping and preserving your prana, your energy, that will make you lazy. The energy comes from God, and you will not feel the propulsion that is potentially there for you to feel if you are trying to regulate your own energy.

 

Maresha, I can’t help but feel things, but I don’t always go with what I feel or move quickly on them.

 

You don’t move quickly because you go up into your head. It comes to you, but then you talk yourself out of it or hesitate, which is very common. You have to find out what your feeling center is hooked into. If it’s with situations with other people, it’s going sideways and so then you’re feeling what other people are feeling, and you’re in that sphere. I’m talking about feeling very clearly the light of the Goddess, a vertical experience, a direct line. We have to train ourselves because when we have a feeling center that is developed, we can still feel everybody’s everything. We have to discern what is it that we’re feeling and how to activate that direct, vertical line. I know how to open the channel and align very, very quickly, not with someone else, but with my Self in direct communion because I’ve been practicing it my whole life, and before this lifetime, and the lifetime before that, and I don’t know how many others.

(October 2013)

Maresha's next blog will be published on February 25. 

Messages of Light is published by the Sanctuary of Universal Light on Snow Dragon Mountain in Meredith, New Hampshire. www.snowdragonsanctuary.com.