At the bottom of every
disagreement, we meet the same place within ourselves, over and over. That same
place has the potential to destroy our harmony and peace. What is that place?
It is the wall of the self. The wall of the self is armored with resistance and
hardness. Its original design was to protect us from imagined offenders and
perpetrators. Living with this armor is painful. It is unforgiving and creates
separation. This pain eventually makes us so uncomfortable, that all we want to
do is to find a way to shed its heaviness and restriction. As this happens, we
begin to prepare ourselves to meet the wall of the self. It is possible to
dissolve this wall because the power of love can hold everything.
The power of love can
hold us when the courtroom of the mind starts again to analyze, review and
ruminate as it determines who is right and who is wrong. The power of love can
hold us when we think again, “I am right.” The power of love can hold us when
we sink again into separation. Through self-reflection and the desire to shed
the armor, a softer, more permeable willingness emerges from within. This
willingness wants to help us meet the wall of the self and begin to dissolve it
in the power of love. The heart wants to merge into unity and oneness. Unity
and oneness are the very nature of love. This willingness is the basic goodness
in everyone. This willingness is the seed of love that learns how not to judge
others, but first, how not to judge ourselves as we are divesting ourselves of
inner constraints.
When consciousness
becomes permeable, it naturally allows any negative energy coming our way to
pass through and dissolve. Permeability is neutral. The inner judge that was
analyzing and ruminating and weighing goes away because there is nothing to
judge anymore. The negative energies no longer have armor and mesh to adhere
and hold on to. Instead, these energies meet a soft, light, permeable field and
have nothing to attach to. All defense, position, and opinion are dissolved.
All offenders and perpetrators are lovingly released and forgiven. Soon, we
come to understand that there is no blaming others and no shaming ourselves. In
this light, the wall of the self can be dissolved.
This is not a one-time
event. Our willingness and basic goodness is called upon again and again,
through self-reflection, meditation, conscious use of the breath, and through
prayer to merge and unify with the power of love. In this way, we see our flaws
with love and become willing to bring them into the light.
Gurudev Shri Amritiji
explains it like this: The Path is so difficult because . . .
That which I am searching for is me.
That which acts as an enemy is me, and
that which is attempting to get rid of the self-destructive me is also me.
I am the obstruction and I am the way.
That which obstructs is my own creation
in unconsciousness.
The ‘I’ that is the light of
consciousness that removes the darkness of unconsciousness and ignorance is
hiding behind unconsciousness.
That which I am searching for is hidden
behind all the false images I hold of myself.
That which remains and cannot be
removed after getting rid of all that I have acquired, is the real me.
(March 2014)
Maresha's next blog will be published April 15, 2014.
Messages of Light is published by the Sanctuary of Universal Light on Snow Dragon Mountain in Meredith, New Hampshire. www.snowdragonsanctuary.com.