As we begin our retreat this
evening, I wish to share with you a passage from Bapuji on surrender. According
to this teaching, one must be in a neutral, objective state—neither grieved by
failures nor excited by successes—to receive supreme knowledge. Only when one gives up and lets go
completely, does the mind become unfettered and free. To arrive here, we must
become totally hopeless as we begin to see that all of our efforts to win our
battles with life are futile. A very, very important place in Bapuji’s teaching
is contained in this passage:
This state of surrender does not burst forth suddenly,
but only awakens gradually as we witness the futility of this battle. The
devotee reaches into a hapless and bewildered frame of mind, then he loses his
sense of direction and purpose. Out of
such churning of his heart, however, he suddenly discovers the Light of his
consciousness guiding him. Through that
illumination, God’s grace reaches him.
Then he gives himself up to a state of complete surrender, ceasing all physical
and mental efforts, to fight against the natural flow of events, allowing his
life to remain afloat on the spontaneously arising ebb and flow of
circumstance. He continues to be focused
in the stream of activity. [i]
No,
it doesn’t. I wish it did. Is it a
paradox? Because last week you read that Bapuji said that no one . . .
“That no one should ever be the
least little bit unhappy, ever”—right!
So
if you’re supposed to get to this place where you’re totally unhappy and
miserable . . .
No, he’s not saying that you are
supposed to “get there”; he says that it naturally arises by striving to live
from your own ego, and that creates your unhappiness. By surrendering to God,
and going with the ebb and flow of what is given to you, instead of what you
want and how you want it, you are brought into harmony. You know by now that how we are guided is
always intuitive, so even in one’s hopelessness, you see, we never lose faith.
If you believe in God, then when you are in despair or feeling hopeless and frustrated, you know
this is absolutely for your greatest good. So of course you are never one
little bit unhappy, even when you are feeling hopeless and desperate, even if
you are sick and dying. But as long as you are happy or unhappy, then you are
trying to drive your own car and steer your own ship.
As
long as you are happy or unhappy?
As long as you are really, really
happy or super excited about something, it usually feels like it’s going your
way. If you are really down or frustrated, it’s usually because it’s not going
your way. When you are neither very, very happy about everything, nor very
upset about anything, then you are in that beautiful, neutral place of the
witness mind. You are accepting, and you are in that ebb and flow; the flow is
there, and it is effortless. You are feeling the guidance and the flow of Love;
you are in the Love stream.
If you surrender when you’re feeling
frustrated and disappointed, do you find release from those emotions?
Well, yes, and no. It depends. Total surrender brings great
relief. You know there’s nothing you can do, and you may have tears streaming
down your face; you feel your powerlessness, and you feel how what you want is
impossible. Simultaneously, there can be
an acceptance of knowing that there
is nothing to do but let go, and that all of your illusions are being crushed. Simultaneously. Be prepared to let your
illusions be crushed, or you cannot surrender.
The level of your pain will equal your level of resistance to letting
go. The more quickly you let go, the
more things are going to open and flow.
That’s why it’s never really good to take someone’s struggle away.
My mother came to live with us when
she was ill. She wants to recover, just as she has recovered her whole life
from anything that was physically holding her back. She recovered from it, she overcame it, and
she got back to where she wanted to be. I see her in such a beautiful place now
because she can’t do that. If I didn’t have spiritual eyes, I’d be very unhappy
for her, and I’d think “Oh, she’s suffering so much, why is life so hard?” But
I don’t see it like that. I see her being transformed and loved and going
through this change. I see it very beautifully. She is getting to find out who
is she when she is not the one who is always in control and able to get things back
to the way she wants them to be.
I don’t know exactly how she sees it,
but we talk from time to time. She has asked me, “Why didn’t God just take me
then?” and I’ve said to her, “Well, He didn’t want to take you yet, and so now you
have this time that you’ve been given.” I talk to her about letting go, and she’s
very, very open to that. When she’s in the present moment, she’s really, really
good, but when she’s not in the present moment, she gets very sad, and just
like everybody else, she goes right back into the karmic loop, wanting what she
wants and lamenting what she doesn’t have that she used to have.
When she’s in the present moment and
looks out and sees the moon, she’ll say, “Come here! Look at this moon!” and
she gets overtaken by the moon. It’s interesting because she’s not an
elemental, natural person, so she’s confused by the fact that this beautiful
sunset is over here, and this beautiful sunrise is over there. She’s really hooked into the sunsets because
she’s usually sleeping at the sunrise, but she’ll say, “Why doesn’t it ever get
pretty on the other side of the house with those beautiful colors in the
sky?” We say, “Well, it does, but it’s
in the morning when the sun comes up!” And she goes “Oh!” because she’s never lived in a place where
she could see the sunrises or sunsets, so she’s not connected there. But when she’s walking around the house, pondering
the beauty all around her, she’s very happy.
Recently I heard her say to a friend
on the phone “No, I don’t think I’ll be going back. I don’t have the energy to take care of my
home anymore.” Right there is a huge reconciliation she’s made within herself. I just see it as positive. I see that she’s getting to release a lot and do an incredible piece of
transformation before she actually physically transitions.
Does she see things the same way you do? Does
she see her situation as perfect and beautiful?
Well, no one ever sees things the
same way as anyone else does, but I think that sometimes she gets a glimpse.
That’s
where it gets hard for me because I don’t think my mom sees it that way.
That’s OK! Don’t take her struggle away! Don’t give her your grief! She doesn’t need your
grief; she doesn’t need your pity. Give her to God, please. Commend her to the
Goddess. There are people who are helping her. That’s how this life works.
If you believe in the Goddess, and if
you know that She is loving her, and loving all of us all of the time, then we
go through what we go through, whatever that is. We have to surrender. We can only surrender. There
is only surrender. Surrender is trusting
love. That is the ultimate in trusting love.
[i] Pilgrim of Love: The Life and Teachings of Swami Kripalu. Atma Jo Ann Levitt, ed. Rhinebeck , NY
Messages of Light is published by the Sanctuary of Universal Light on Snow Dragon Mountain in Meredith, New Hampshire. www.snowdragonsanctuary.com.
Maresha's next blog will be published April 1, 2014.
Messages of Light is published by the Sanctuary of Universal Light on Snow Dragon Mountain in Meredith, New Hampshire. www.snowdragonsanctuary.com.