Am I Responsible for the Unhappiness of Others?

I’m seeing a pattern that repeats itself over and over. It is a place that comes up and says, “What is wrong with me?” It seems to get triggered when my loved ones are unhappy; when I see this, I start going through all the pieces of what is wrong with me. 

Whenever you hear that question, flip it over and say, “What is right with me?  Where am I in alignment with my heart and soul and my center?  In what ways do I succeed?  What are my successes?”  All that is required to release this pattern is that you make the leap into your center and that you do not leave it.  Do not leave it for those you love most dearly in the world or for whoever is unhappy or angry or whatever. 

Know how to find the place that pulls you more fully into your center where you can observe more objectively. From there you will be guided to know when to help out and when it’s not yours to help out at all. When it is not yours to help out, you are just a loving presence in your center. Bring that consciousness in, so that you can start to shore yourself up in your spiritual channel which runs from your root chakra to your crown, and get your spine straight so that your connections are all really clear. What’s happening here is that something is getting derailed and keeping you from being really clear and on center.

Returning to Center

It’s easy to go back into center. We close our eyes, we go within, and we align with the power of the breath.  Remember who you are, and allow others to do what they need to do. Until you develop the objectivity that you need, you will not be able to be peaceful because your pattern says you’re responsible for their unhappiness, and you’re not. That’s impossible. You do not have that power; only they do.

It is the same for anyone anywhere who is in a relationship and wants to be conscious in that relationship. When you can be with your friend, or your nearest and dearest, and they are in a place of struggle or unhappiness, you can stay in your center and not resonate with their unhappiness. You can have compassion and love and complete allowance for them to do whatever they have to do. You can be a loving presence, but not get lost there by resonating with their unhappiness or their sadness.

How do I maintain my light for all of you?  It’s by doing what I’m telling you. I’ve seen you unhappy and I have been compassionate about your unhappiness, but I don’t become your unhappiness. 

Do Not Get Lost in the Karma

When you see somebody else in the world or a situation in the world that tweaks you, and you react to it, then it is about you. When you can see that same situation and not get tweaked by it, it is no longer about you; you have learned whatever it is that you have to learn there. When you can be in that situation but not get lost in the karma of it, you have learned what you need to learn. Until you learn what you need to learn, you should be asking the question, “Why do I need to be looking at this? What am I having to see?” You’re having to see something; when you understand what it is that you have to see, you won’t have to see it anymore. Or, you may see it, but you won’t react to it.

Look at what is there, and learn what you must learn. As we reflect on what we‘re learning, what we’re holding onto, what our opinion is, what our position is, we learn to let it go. I do not know how long it will take to learn it—it is not necessarily going to be a one-time deal because that’s not how karma works—but  the willingness to keep looking and to learn is the desire that creates the fire to be peaceful and beautiful. 

Here is something else that is really important. You can feel deeply connected and guided and still not have to impose your understanding on anyone who is not ready to receive it. You might know something and share it, but then find that nobody really wants to know it. They have a different opinion and a different position. You hold your center, and you allow others to say or think whatever they wish. Even in conscious relationship, where two people have agreed to work together, there are times when you must do what I just said. You have to surrender, without an edge and without any judgment of others.

(April 1, 2007)

Maresha's next blog will be published August 19, 2014.


Messages of Light is published by the Sanctuary of Universal Light on Snow Dragon Mountain in Meredith, New Hampshire. www.snowdragonsanctuary.com.