Healing the Karmic Wound

I feel as if I am stalled.  Am I making any progress in my life? I’m going to school, but there’s still that other piece, my soul piece.

All of the things that we achieve in life that are more outwardly directed like going to school and earning a degree, or getting a job in the world that we think is a good job, or doing some kind of community work—all of these things stimulate our awareness of who we are in the world as well as our awareness of who we are in relationship to each other. We use these things to compare ourselves and our achievements, or our lack of achievements, to others. These things are fine, but they are absolutely meaningless if we are not taking care of our relationship with our inner world and with our source. All the accolades, all the degrees, all the money—it does  nothing for us. It does not bring us happiness, it does not bring us peace, and it does not bring us healing. 

You’re saying that you’re advancing in some good outer ways, but inwardly you feel stalled. How do we know inwardly when we have succeeded in bringing ourselves to experience the answer to our prayers to go forward? You will know you have succeeded because there is a great expansion and release that comes in your heart when you have understood something that you were not able to understand before, and when you experience the light in a way that you had not experienced it before. Our heart tells us so. That’s how we know.

So how do I start to change my karmic blueprint?

You have to pray first.  You have to petition.  You make the prayer. You know how we pray here at the Sanctuary: “Ancestors, help me out, I’m stuck. I’m spinning my wheels in a little gerbil cage and I need to get off this track. I need your help.” 

But the other thing is, you have to be ready. When you have had enough of the karma of the wound and it has made you so very unhappy, the light will come on. There will be one time when you go over your threshold and say, “Enough! I cannot bear this any longer.” And that’s when we really pray.  That’s when we really say, “Please, I need some help. Ancestors, listen to my prayer. Help me, help me here because what I do now doesn’t work.” 

Is it an all-or-nothing thing, or can you be working towards it in small steps?

We can always be going forward in the life of the spirit.

I think it’s going to be difficult, a really hard process.

That’s part of your wound. You heal it the same way that you would heal anything that said, I’m not good enough . . . I’m a bad person . . . Nobody really loves me—whatever the wound is. This is how human beings create suffering. One day that suffering will be too much for you, and then finally there will be an opening for you to let a new way come to you to respond.

The wound is tricky because we use it to our advantage. We use it to manipulate other people. When you say, “I can’t do that, it’s too hard,” someone comes along and says, “Oh here, let me help you.”  If you say, “Nobody loves me,” then your friends and family rush in to reassure you that you are loved. How many times do you need to be asking for that? There it is, that big, hungry mouth! Enough already! You’re born, you’re alive, you’re loved! You don’t have to keep asking for reassurance, you don’t have to keep proving that you’re powerful by fighting with somebody and coming out on top, and you don’t have to keep saying what you just said: “It’s too hard.” The wound is tricky stuff because you believe in it.

There’s still a lot of work for me to do on a soul level.

If you say so. I agree that we are always evolving and that we never stop stepping up to what the universe is teaching us. As far as I’m concerned, that’s forever in this dimension. But if you think it’s a lot of work, then it’s going to be a lot of work. If you think it’s your blessing to be in the Mystery and have it constantly be revealed to you and have it be a joy, then you can turn what is hard work into joy. Another way of expressing this understanding is by acknowledging that the process of liberation and purification is always happening.  But is it a joyful process to you, is it a burdensome process to you, is it one that you will judge, or is it one that you will be happy to engage in? Because the truth is that everything is a lot of work. You get up in the morning, and you have to go to work somehow. But if we are willing, then the “work,” whatever it is, is the process of life that we are engaging in fully. If it’s not that, then it becomes a task or a burden.

I feel like I keep hitting a wall.

That feeling of hitting a wall is the result of the blueprint that you’re still working with. The blueprint is what generates the separation, it’s what generates the “sin,” and it is the part or the whole of the wound. Did you ever see the movie French Kiss?  Meg Ryan wants to see the Eiffel Tower, but every time she moves, it disappears. She knows that it’s there, and then she looks and it’s gone. You see your wound, but sometimes it slips out of sight and goes behind another building and you can’t quite see it clearly. Then it comes back into view, and then you turn another corner and it slips out again. Your willingness to love generates the person that you are which means that you will continue to roll up your sleeves and go back until you get sight of it again and work with it in the way you need to work with it.  

With all this talk about wounded stuff, let us not forget that we are part of humanity. Every single one of us is part of the human race. So while we’re doing our “work,” let’s have joy and fun and do all of those things that we love so much as human beings. While we’re doing it!  Because we have to do it one way or another, so you might as well do it and enjoy the ride because we love to be in the current of love. We love to find the love stream, and we love to laugh together and play together and do all of those things together as human beings. So let’s always do that as we go forth and learn how to be better people.

Maresha's next blog will be published Tuesday, August 11, 2015.

Messages of Light is published by the Sanctuary of Universal Light on Snow Dragon Mountain in Meredith, New Hampshire. A snail mail edition is available bi-monthly, free of charge. www.snowdragonsanctuary.com