I
don’t feel the enthusiasm that I should for practice and meditation. I do it,
but usually I have to make myself sit down and do it. My practice seems to go
deeper and become more meaningful when there is a crisis at hand.
What you are saying is, “It’s a ‘should’ right
now, but something is pressing upon me to change my practice.”
Spiritual practice does
not need to be more than a sense of knowing that it is good for you. It is a
discipline. If you understand it as a discipline, it can be a simple, peaceful
experience. It is not necessarily ecstatic in the beginning, or even much later
after years of practice. Ecstasy is a
promise for hanging out in peaceful places. If you do it enough, you are bound
to realize more ecstatic frequencies and places.
It is a misconception that
we need a crisis. It is best to sustain practices when all is well. Then, when
the crisis comes, we are much more prepared.
Until you break through
the wall of yourself, your simple, peaceful practice will continue as it
is. But it could become an empty ritual,
which is what often happens in religious practice. So what do you bring to the
container of your practice? When one wants to succeed, one can.